Raw Food Rehab

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That's my sign. I'm not sugar coating it. That's the bottom line. This is something I really struggle with.

I have every reason to put my health first. I suffer horribly with food reactions, my health is not the best and I have had a real serious health scare recently. I do well on my own, in my own home and occasionally out in restaurants with a plan of attack but when it comes to other people and eating with them, I start to crack.

Last week, I went out of town for business and pleasure. I was around people that know I am eating to restore my health and sincerely made efforts to have food for me at a BBQ in my honor. I even brought a salad for myself just to be sure I could eat something as it was a long day. I saw that people had made things that they thought would please me but were off for various reasons ( like being drenched in dressing) or they purchased "vegan" packaged treats especially for me (that had tons of sugar.) I saw disappointment in their eyes that I would not eat these things and other baked treats that they were so pleased to present and started to wonder, would it really be so bad for me to eat it so they wouldn't feel bad? That's my hook: eating to please

While I made food for the trip, stocked the mini fridge in our hotel room with raw food and fruit, and mostly stayed on my plan, I wavered here and there in the company of friends and family and I've suffered for it. I realize also that I don't want to talk about food in company. I share on my blog and FB page recipes and the things I learn for myself about health but talking about why I'm eating a certain way, while I clearly still struggle with my health is down right embarrassing in person. I'm not there yet, its a journey. I don't enjoy preaching about food and try to avoid it. No one wants to hear why I think dairy is the worst thing on the planet while they're chowing down on cheese, even though they are asking me. It felt ridiculous and I feel I look like a hypocrite for not being the picture of health.

I am home now and still recovering from my food transgressions from the trip. Hives, trouble breathing, stomach pain and upset and even fibromyalgia flares. The worst is my chest pain has returned, which is especially frightening. And yet when I received a call from my elderly neighbor's care taker, asking if I would go off my diet to eat ________ and ___________to celebrate his birthday at a party tonight, I agreed. Really?!!

I find myself mad about this. Mad that I would be asked this and madder still at myself that I would oblige. One side of me said, well you've been off... what's one more day? The other side of me says they know I struggle with my health and need to eat carefully so why are they asking me to do this? Why is it so important that we eat what others are eating? Aren't we there just for company anyway? Isn't that what's really important?

I can't help but think that what I was asked was to poison myself for someone else's pleasure because that's what's happened. Does it really matter that much that I eat what everyone else is eating? Does that make me more of a friend? I don't have the answers to this dilemma. I thought I was stronger than this.

Tonight I am suffering. I've tried to sleep but woke up choking. My breathing is impaired to the point where I am afraid to try to sleep again. My airway keeps shutting off. I've taken my herbal remedies but it wont be better until morning. I have done this to myself, simply because someone asked me to and I'm upset about it.

Tomorrow I have a plan: I'm back on a raw detox plan. I need it desperately. I have the food all ready to go and am looking forward to it. I've been experimenting with more cooked vegan but find the lines are too easily blurred. Raw is easier for me and I feel much better. I can't wait until morning.

Thanks for reading my late night rant. Good night all.

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Comment by nathalie carles on July 24, 2013 at 1:24am

Great post Jodi, on a very common situation and also a very complicated one but you know, if you just had a heart attack and a by pass, or if you were insulin dependant diabetic etc...people, friends, would be never dare ask you to eat something you are not supposed to, but if they think it is just weight related they don't take you seriously.

(or if you just stopped smoking no one will ask you if you just want one cigarette, or if you had stopped drinking, no one would dare ask you "hey Jodi, just a drink ", no. Never).

And if you look like someone who's paying attention to what she eats, you send an image of a super woman to those people, who, themselves are usually totally unable to control what they eat (why would they? they eat  what they are told to eat) so unconsciously they have to destroy your "good behavior" to take you down off you piedestal of superwoman in order for you to become who they are and then you are not a threat anymore.

May be I don't explain myself very well here, my English is weak sometimes...but what I want to say it that you have to be more of a "dictator" with your friends and with yourself in order to get what you want or to be taken seriously or when ever you 'll go somewhere it will always be the same.

Always.

Your friends, when it comes to food, diet, health, can be your worst enemies unless as I said earlier if you have a deadly desease and then they pity you, otherwise, even your best best friend will try to sabotage your efforts, even and usually unconsciously .....it is so common!!!!

You have to be more specific about what's going wrong in your health with your friends, or for a while don't go out, just go for walks or movies (skip the popcorn though hahahahahahahaha) or shopping or a drink but avoid food/restaurants/parties until they get it or they see you doing so well that everything becomes obvious.

At the same times, going out with friends for a dinner or a party or a restaurant is also a hidden excuse (sometimes, not always) to eat food "off your diet".... you have to go with such determination and strength so you can handle all this.... and you can achieve this of course, I am sure.

Don't be too hard on yourself though, it is so common we all do that, or done that, me the first!!!!!

We don't live in a 100%-totally-raw-world AT ALL. So it is hard, really very hard, this is why sometimes people fall off the wagon so easily (me first). Unless we live in a bubble or in a 100% couple household or the entire family is raw, it is really hard.

Some people manage to do it so why not you? There are a lot of examples on RFR of people that have managed to stay highly raw for a long time and the happiness that they have encountered is now higher than the fake pleasure we get by eating junk, the famous "quick fix".

Food is very important to people, it is a huge (if not the main) part of their social life, so it is not easy , for no one.  I am sure that you are going to find a way to be more focus on your health and you'll be able to go out without being bothered by so and so. I am absolutely sure you're going to make it!!!!

Comment by Jodi is Purely Nourished on July 23, 2013 at 5:20pm
Thanks for the supportive comments. I made it through a ling night but am still suffering. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that has experienced this. I usually just decline get togethers, which has also given me a bad reputation but could not in these instances. I just wish food was not so important to others. I think about all my learning about food and think of it as having pulled back the curtain on OZ. I can't go back to not looking at certain foods as the cause of illness. Maybe I should show up with bugs or something gross next time and ask them to join me. See how they react. Not really but that's how it feels to me to be asked to eat certain foods that I know will make me suffer.
Thanks again for chiming in here. I always know my RFR peeps will get me. :-D
Comment by Heather L.O.V.E. on July 23, 2013 at 3:16pm

I always had this when I went to my MIL's for dinner.  She thinks it is the height of rudeness to refuse anything you're offered, no matter the reason.  (But how polite is it to make food you know someone can't/won't eat?) She doesn't believe in gluten intolerance, thinks being an ethical vegan is silly, etc.  Anyway, my solution is just to not go.  I hate to be like that, but I refuse to apologize for doing what I need to do to save my life.  She can understand or not.  I am proud of you for recommitting.  You are strong and smart!

Comment by Wendi Grant on July 23, 2013 at 8:10am

Your post has really struck a nerve with me. I also feel like a hypocrite because i do "slip" while eating with others.  Then I feel like "one more day won't hurt,  I'm already 'off' so why not".  Then I feel like a failure.   It's an ugly cycle that I am working hard to break.   It is always hard when you know others have tried so hard to accommodate you,  but their food isn't "right" and you still feel like you have to eat their "gift".  I don't want to seem ungrateful.   

I have learned to tell others before hand "please don't make anything special for me,  I am going to bring something special to share and it will be plenty! !!"  Also you can tell others that you are realizing just now that you have so many allergies flaring up, that it would be easier for you to bring something.  If they still insist,  give them a list of everything you CAN NOT HAVE.  I wish you the best.   We are on an incredible journey.   Your health IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEIR FEELINGS.   Everyone will learn that you are SERIOUS about your food choices.   I feel like it won't be until everyone sees you "not giving in,  no matter what" that they will take your restrictions seriously.   I am preaching to the choir here.   It's time I take my health seriously and make my choices known,  instead of staying under the radar.   I get it.   Thanks for sharing.   I'm glad I'm not the only one.   

Comment by Susan : ) on July 23, 2013 at 8:10am

Standing right beside you!  Jodi, you can take care of YOU!  I know you can...Put yourself first and reap the results of health you so desire!!  : )

Huggggggggggggggggggs!

Comment by Gill Cooke on July 23, 2013 at 7:45am

Phew - I know just what you mean - I keep hearing myself say 'well, it won't kill me' when offered cake, bread, fried foods etc etc etc - exactly as you describe - eating to please others - not wanting to hurt them by rejecting their 'kind' offers ......... not wanting to be an extremist....... you're right, raw is easier and less blurry! Enjoy your detox!

Comment by Laura Harshbarger on July 23, 2013 at 7:16am

People love to have partners in crime, that's why they want you to eat what they are eating.  It makes them feel uncomfortable when you are eating differently.  I get the feeling that perhaps it makes you feel uncomfortable too.  And maybe since you don't feel like you are healthy you feel like it doesn't make sense to them and you give in versus just loving yourself enough to do the very best for you.  It's a struggle, no one is perfect!  Don't judge yourself!  Tell yourself you are healthy.  That yes this is a journey but you are already healthy and working to get even healthier.  Perfect Health is already inside of you.  Give yourself permission to be different and to continue on this journey, it can be a lonely one but one day people will be asking what you have been doing and you will be able to share that with them.  For now, just tell them that you are doing some experimenting and you realize when you eat like this you feel better.  That's all you have to say. You don' t have to explain why you don't eat meat, dairy or whatever else you aren't eating.  Just say you have more energy and you have noticed you don't have the same pain, hives etc as you do when eating the standard diet.  You can do it.  Just look in the mirror and say I love you and then go out and do everything as if you love yourself.  :)

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