Adding LIFE to your years and years to your life!
Feel really great today arthritis-wise and think I'm going to go on a bike-ride. The heat hasn't really been bothering me this year, in fact it just feels positively wonderful on my joints!!
Emotion-wise I'm a little sad, as my boyfriend and I have been having a lot of struggles in our relationship lately. It's just been hard and I really care about him and want to be with him for as long as possible, and it just makes me so sad that we keep having so many squabbles and disagreements on things. It's hard because we both are people who really do prefer to avoid conflict but if something happens that needs to be addressed, we will address it and a lot has needed to be addressed lately... We disagree on a lot of things. Yesterday I was wearing an outfit I randomly threw together and he said it "looked great, although it doesn't match." And I said, "Yeah, I feel kind of campy putting together an outfit that matches." He said, "What does campy mean?" I said, "Cheesy or corny. It just feels cheesy to try really hard on something as insignificant as fashion." He said, "Fashion is significant," and I said, "Yeah, for the people who are selling it." And in the middle of me speaking, he just walked out of the room with this annoyed look on his face. It just sucks to be reacted to so negatively over something so small and that really didn't even matter to me to begin with. By him walking out in the middle of that I feel like he made it into so much more than it was. I didn't even think it was a big deal and I thought we were having a nice conversation. I feel totally disrespected when he does things like that. I appreciate being listened to even if I am disagreed with. Anyway we had this huge argument tbe night before last about all that--all that happened was he ended up in tears and I felt terrible and nothing was really resolved. I hate this and I don't really know what to do about it because it seems every time I bring something up that's been bothering me he reacts very defensively rather than says sorry, and very little improves. I can't be with someone for a long time who won't respect my opinions that they happen to disagree with, even if I do enjoy them the rest of the time. I don't know how long this is going to last, and that really makes me sad because I do want it to. Like he said, "If only two people who love each other made them compatible." Whatever happens, I don't regret being with him, but I desperately need things to improve because I'm really tired of feeling so miserable half the time, and it really makes me sick to think that he is miserable that often too.
I bought lots of lettuce at the farmer's market the other day, organic and so delicious. I have been eating extremely clean although not all raw, and enjoying all of it.
Going to go on a bikeride today to get some much needed exercise and also because I love it. One great thing about living in town is I can bike to the grocery store and grab something I forgot without wasting gas money, although it is a little worrisome because I don't have one of those bike locks!
Hopefully today will be a good day. I really really need it to be!!! My life has been going great but Adam and I really need to have a peaceful day. I feel so bummed right now and I'm too fearful to address it because it's the same thing I addressed last time and it didn't really help, and it's his only time off until he works all day Saturday and then we'll only have Sunday free and it's back to school again, and I don't know how to handle this. We don't have a lot of time to just be resolved... He says, this isn't a good time...when is a good time. I can't be happy in a relationship where there's no time to resolve things that are truly truly upsetting me and then there's barely any time to just enjoy each other.