Time to get real and "back on the wagon".

[Raw Chef Debra]

I just want to cry. I feel like I've hit rock bottom. I have been on the verge of tears all day. I need a good cry but haven't been able to really get enough time alone to let it all out. Today I saw on the scale a number I never wanted to see. A number I swore I would never allow myself to see. A weight I promised myself I would never reach. It's easy for people who aren't my size to say things like "how could she let herself get that big?" I have heard a lot of that lately. Not people saying it directly to me, but comments in general like on Facebook about photos of others struggling with obesity. It's crazy. It's not like I woke up one day and thought: "hey, I would love to be 303 lbs, I'm gonna work towards that". Yes, I take responsibility for my state of being. It's no one else's fault. But there are reasons for it and comments like the one I mentioned make it sound like all you have to do is think "I want to be thin" and you will be thin. Maybe it's easy for them but it's not for most people. Anyway... That's the number I saw on the scale today: 303. I always thought if I ever saw a "3" at the beginning of my weight I would have a breakdown. I haven't felt quite that bad, but I do feel like it's all just hopeless right now. I know I can turn things around if I just find the determination. But right now I just need to come to terms with where I'm at and accept it, and be done with beating myself up over it. Then I can move on to change. That's all I can manage for now. Thanks for reading. - Debra

[Jodi is Purely Nourished]

I feel you- I really do Debra. But you can't afford to turn on yourself. Cry in the shower- get it all out and then let it go and start loving yourself with proper self care. Feeding yourself anything less than your body deserves is really just self neglect and you deserve more.

These are the things I hear the ones that have done it, made the transformation say:

You just have to start where you are, one step at a time, one meal at a time.

Add more greens and good stuff in and the cravings and desire for the other stuff will fade away.

Just focus on making improvements...not perfection.

It won't happen overnight. But it can happen.

...and by the way. I am telling myself these very same things.

Hang in there. ;-)

[Maria]

For the "think yourself thin" aspect check out Jon Gabriel - it's not quite that simple but he uses visualisation as a tool for weightloss. For what others think and say: f...k them! Unhelpful comments are just that unhelpful and can make us spiral into unhealthy behaviors, if that's how we deal with discomfort and pain. I'm speaking about myself here but I believe it may apply to others. If I were you I would literally and virtually remove the unsupportive people from my life - Facebook has a very handy delete button! Love and support not judgement is what we need when trying to change something about ourselves. Those that can't get' with that program can go. That's my point of view.

[LaTricia E. Morris]

Girl, I understand the feeling.  I think we all have that number in our minds that we've sworn we'd never get to yet many of us have and have felt defeated, overwhelmed, hopeless, and downright terrible.  This was so me after having each of my kids!  I knew it was due to a series of choices I'd made but had never intended to.  What's good is that you are not only saying you take responsibility for it but that YOU KNOW YOU CAN turn things around. 

As far as the motivation, I had to do it for me and for my husband and children.  When we aren't well, our loved ones suffer too.  They want to see you prosper and so do we!  We know you can do it!  It's not as easy as saying "I weigh this much" and it all coming off (Lord knows, if it were, I'd constantly be walking around saying "I weigh 125".  [far from it] lol.)  However, I have found that it greatly helps to set our minds on our goals, even go so far as saying "I weigh this much..." to ourselves and keeping our minds set on being well on our way there.  I determined in my mind that it was just going to melt off at the beginning of the year and while it has taken much work and discipline, it has been coming off and without me actually "dieting" but just sticking to a High-Raw diet.  At the onset, I took photos because I knew I'd one day use them as "Before" shots.  I'm not yet to my goal but am well on the way. 

I am glad that you are determining not to beat yourself up over it.  Letting it rob you of your joy is far from helpful.  Take heart, Deb, you've still surely got much life in you and time to make the change and enjoy many years of walking in wellness.  And through it all, not only will you reap the rewards of feeling better but serve as an inspiration and hope to others!  Bless you, Lady!

[Susan : )]

Here is a great blast from the past to encourage YOU!

[Susan : )]

I believe in YOU! : ) Hugggggggggggggggggggs!

[djd]

Think thin---yes, I thought about that and realized there is more to that than what is on the surface.  Thinking thin means you modify your way of being to that of a thin person.  You change your appetite, your treats, your food decisions, your movements, your energy response....  What would a thin person have for lunch?  Would they get up and dance when the music calls for it?  I hope this helps.  :-)

[djd]

You can do it.  I have slimmed down and I started by just eating more raw food.  I also had a bit of lemon juice diluted in some water for about 3 weeks, before breakfast each day.  That seemed to get something started.  Now I mainly eat fruit, fruit and a large salad at night with scarcely any fat, based on the book "The 80 10 10 Diet".  You could free yourself from one thing at a time, for example--no more cakes, cookies, white flour, sugar type things.

[Bette Bliss Shaw]

<3 to you Debra!