What a busy few weeks. How did I let this happen?
Okay. I am putting the brakes on. It ends now, before I whip myself up into a frenzied, ill, holiday mess.
In getting overly busy, I forgot the person I am striving to become and will eventually be... the peaceful, gentle creature who strives for simplicity. The one with the organized finances, uncluttered refrigerator, well attended house and happy, nurtured family.
(Definitely not there, but I was working in the right direction.)
My husband had surgery and went on disability, we all came down with strep throat, school got harder, the kids activity calendar filled up, we started do-it-yourself projects and painting the house, and so on. With five boys and sports, we also must allow time for the occasional trip to the ER or imaging center for x-rays - some broken fingers and toes over the last few months. Then there is the unexpected home repair (imagine the holes that are made when your child’s rollerblade goes through the wall while it’s on his foot. “No, Mom did not say you could rollerblade through the house”). The last bomb to drop: Mother-in-law announced she was coming the week before Thanksgiving and staying for two weeks. Love her, but the stress level just shot up a few notches. We had no place for her to sleep, so we quickly created a guest room by fixing up the little sitting room we were using for a music room. This involved mega de-cluttering, securing free furniture, moving and remodeling the furniture, re-arranging and disturbing the kids’ overcrowded rooms to dismantle and move the bunk beds around, and maneuvering the top bunk down to the new guest room. In the process, we made many, many trips to the paint store, the hardware store, and Wally World. This was all seriously making a dent in our time and our finances.
I hit the wrong auto pilot button, and completely lost sight of everything I was striving for, sinking deep into old, chaotic habits. I mean, we’re talking a total derailment of intentions for diet, finances, and even just the way we spend our time.
I could do some serious damage entering the holiday season in this mode. It’s time to shut the engine and let things cool down for a while. Right now, I don’t even want to think about anything beyond the next five minutes... and I don’t think I’m going to.