Adding LIFE to your years and years to your life!
I felt like such a survivor after school yesterday. I had made it and I actually managed to pay attention in my night statistics class!!! I was so exhausted, and yet when I got in the car I had this enormous inner-peace that I couldn't ignore. And I say that because I'm pretty skeptical about that sort of thing, and usually take it with a grain of salt when people tell me about that sort of thing. I think I was just so, so worn down that my body physically lost the energy to become angry. My boyfriend was totally messing with me and was at one point downright rude, and I reacted beautifully, balanced, fair--it was the first time ever he simply stopped talking because I'd made him feel like he truly was acting ridiculous through my words and attitude. Usually I have to fight to the death to not be pissed off--and by that point it's too late!! >.< What can I say, I'm feisty. It felt great though. I felt very aware, very okay with myself...I felt like I grew a little bit. I didn't expect that result to come from a day of hunger, but I think I just struggled so much all day that I really couldn't end the day without feeling as if I'd had some sort of personal growth. That's how bad I felt!
Today I made sure to eat a big breakfast, and dad even kindly offered to take me home early, so I've had no problems in the hunger department today. Another department I'm improving in is my cognitive abilities. For the first 3 weeks going raw, I felt like I was in this horrible mental fog. ADD to the max, and it was tearing me apart emotionally because I was so worried about how I was going to do in school, and was just generally feeling inadequate because the mental fog made me feel as if I was losing my mind and wasn't able to experience life to the fullest. Today I feel on top of the world. I answered questions in class no one else knew (Why do we want to autoclave both young and old bacillus in question 4?? Why not just ask about one? Because the older bacillus creates endospores and we want to see if the autoclave can kill those off as well...foo'! At 121 degrees farenheight for 15 minutes with 15 psi!!) SO much more clarity today. THANK HEAVENS. I really was worrying there for a while. I was worried about how I'd do a job, how I'd finish school...everything. It is such a relief that it went away. Haven't changed anything in my diet either--except I must say that I AM eating more greens. So that should be noted. But not exorbitant amounts. Maybe 1/2 a pound a day tops. I know--I need more. It's really difficult for me. Luckily I'm 5'5" and petite and don't need a whole lot of protein anyway. I'll get to emphasizing the protein foods a lot more often when I know my arthritis is healed. For now, I'm trying to enjoy what I'm able to enjoy because this is a new diet for me and if I push too much at one time, it's just not going to work. I am a successful vegan because I eased into it (dropped red meat for a year, then all meat after 1 year and 6 months...etc). It was a gradual transition that left me feeling totally mentally accepting of my decision. I made it consciously and because, I lost my cravings over time, and discovered wonderful replacements (that can take time too! but is always possible.), I began to love it more and more. That's how I plan to do raw as well. Following my body and what I crave, and not pushing a lot of greens just because I know it's healthy if I can't manage to enjoy it. I seem to be wanting more and more naturally anyway.
I have been using cronometer...and I'm pretty impressed with my stats. Had no idea collard greens have so much calcium--I easily got over 100% day before yesterday. I usually get above 30 grams of protein--that isn't all bad. It could be better, but for my weight, body type and height, it's not too off-base. It certainly wouldn't qualify me as deficient for a very long time, and I know over time I'll be desiring more greens anyway. And hopefully my arthritis will heal enough so I'll be able to see which of the easier protein foods work for me (raw sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, etc. I am not doing those for a long time because I don't want to risk this not working. I have to know I did all I could if I fail. Because if I fail, but I ate sunflower seeds? God knows those might have been what was causing the problem. But raw fruits, vegetables, and avocados?? Honey, you did all you could. I could start eliminating nightshades too, but I'm not ready for that yet. This is the base I"m starting from--eliminates all the major inflammatory raw foods, but isn't so dismissive that I feel I can't enjoy this diet. If I feel something might still be bothering me, then I'll make the choice to eliminate it. But so far, what I have in my diet is common knowledge to be pretty anti-inflammatory. So, one step at a time.)
(Edit: OH, also, costco chia seeds. They remove a lot of worry. :) Packing a lot of protein, calcium, and omega-3's to boot. Those omega-3s are why I allow myself to have them--the balance is insane--there's way more omega-3s than 6's in chia seeds. Also, they just taste different--not fatty and decadent like other seeds that seem to give me flareups. So that's a seed I'm okay with having.)
One thing I'm disappointed about--my skin looks the same!! :( It improved a TEENY bit (the red zits on my chin are gone...the little skin tone bumps are not and everything else is not). I think I might need more sleep and water, which can be difficult because of my school schedule.
My eyes...look okay. They aren't vibrant and clear. They still have that red coating in the corners that I've had ever since I got the eye virus (which is dormant now), and the little red spot that appears and disappears sporadically, and they still look glassy. They look fine, I guess. But I used to be someone who ALWAYS had clear eyes, and ever since the virus, to me they look pretty jacked up. They look like most people's eyes, in reality. But I hate that they got so much worse just from one little thing. I miss the way they used to be. So that is something I'm still disappointed about.
It's been a month, I have my cognition back, now lets hope for some more improvements.
Edit: oh yeah, I've lost like 5 pounds or something. I didn't mention it because that's not what I'm doing this for. I'd be okay with maintaining what I have now, maybe a couple pounds less, or eating lots more and gaining some muscle. I don't want to be a twig, I wanna be robust. :) A WOMAN! And vegan at that baby!!)
Yum just finished some guacamole :)
Been craving desserts. I really want to order some carob to make shakes with. I haven't yet just because I tend to scrutinize when I online shop and make sure I get the best quality with the best deal, and that can take hours that I don't have at the moment. Have an exam Thursday and a big math assignment due tomorrow.