How to Change a Habit

[Sheryl Valentine]

Hi Friends,

            This morning I read a post from Penni over on the 28 day Reset site, and  I loved what she wrote as it reminded me of a blog I was writing today.  Penni wrote:

              “We are of Spirit and we are wearing these flesh tents as we travel through this physical incarnation. I think the only way through it is to stay totally plugged into the Light that is our eternal strength. Only through being fully connected to the Power that created this Universe, can we experience the mental miracles that are needed for us to truly shift ourselves into the realm where we are emotionally reborn.” 

 See how perfectly this fits with a blog I have just written on: Abide in Me.

            We’ve all tried to change a habit through self-denial and self-discipline only to find ourselves more frustrated than ever as the habit hangs on.  Even when our efforts appear to have worked in the sense that outwardly we are no longer engaging in that habit, it may still be a live and well in the mind. 

            For instance, we might decide that we will not make any more negative judgements about people, and we don't outwardly, but the toxic Chatty Cathy in the mind is still chattering away.  And what about diets: Some people can discipline themselves to the extent that outwardly their excess weight drops away, but they are tortured every time there’s food around.  Or they may be constantly tortured by not liking how they look.

            I don’t know about you, but the more I focus on changing some outward appearance and keeping my focus on externals (thoughts, body, world, money, relationships…), the more distracted I am from what really matters.  When we keep our focus and attention only on outward appearances, we move further away from where true change occurs – within. 

              The way to really conquer ourselves – the false imposter self – is to stop focusing on that self.  When we consistently begin to shift attention from ‘out there’ to within, we find that we can experience happiness and peace without needing outer things to change.

             Although I have heard and read the words “abide in me as I abide in you” many times over the years, on a recent evening I felt Spirit Within take me into the experience of true Self abidance.  Together we joined deeply:

Abide in Me as I abide in You

Dwell in Me as I dwell in You

Unite  with Me as I unite with You

Live in Me as I live in You

Rest in Me as I rest in You

Remain in Me as I remain in You

                 I particularly like “remain…” as it reminds me that I have never left God-Self-Truth.  After this meditation with Spirit I was prompted to read John 15 in the Bible, which reminded me that the branch that abides to the vine bears much fruit; a branch cut from the vine withers and dies.

               This year feels to me to be about going deeper into surrender and Self-abidance, which is really the same thing.  Abidance in the present moment is surrender – surrender of the small limited self – surrender of the ego’s voice.

            As long as we seek to find a sense of security, meaning and hope in the world-body-person, all efforts will be futile.  Let all effort be devoted to that which is effective and fruitful.  As we quiet the mind and abide within, we are constantly guided as to what to say, what to do, where to go…  Abide as often as you remember in the silent-truth that You are.  Let this simple quiet rest in now be your preparation for everything. 

Abide in me as I abide in you

     Dwell in me as I dwell in you

          Live in me as I live in you

               Join with me as I join with you

                     Rest in me as I rest in you

                          Make your home in me as I make my home in you

                                Remain in me as I remain in you

                                          Abide in me as I abide in you

                   In this way, your efforts are effective and fruitful. 

                                Abide as often as you remember in the silent truth that You are and I am.

Thank you Spirit Within-true Self

for showing me how to abide in the one truth,

the one Self

that we all share.

Amen.

[Sheryl Valentine]

Yes Nathalie, that's *exactly* what my post is about. ;)

[nathalie carles]

I found this that resumes what you said (from Eckhart Tolle):

If you get the inside right   -   The outside will fall into place

No? What do you think?

[Sheryl Valentine]

Thank you Nathalie... much love to you my new friend ;)

[nathalie carles]

Meaning then that we have to feel good "inside" or ourselves, head, heart, body etc...to be able to fell good as well as outside...hum....but they go together most of the time? Don't they? Or is it a "culture" thing this "outside" part?

Not easy as we are "whole".

What I understand here is that we have to be at peace (inside) with ourselves, love ourselves, the way we are inside, our thoughts have to be quite , our mind has to stop judging, has to be tolerant with ourselves...that I get but..... also, when our "outside"part of ourselves is in balance with what we would like to look like or feel like ...that is quite nice too, it is called feeling good under your skin, be happy about ourselves.

Well the thing is not to be hard on ourselves, but still keep focusing on our health that we have to work hard on, that is my point of view as without a good health we struggle big time even if we fit in a size 2 jeans!

I like your posts Sheryl. Thank you for them.

[Sheryl Valentine]

Hi Nathalie, and thank you for your questions and appreciation of the post.  What it points to for me is taking my attention off the externals: body/weight/etc.   and Abide with the Truth within.  This does not mean, however, that I cannot exercise, pay attention to what food I am eating, etc, it's just about taking a Focus off of that, and identifying with myself as only a body. Much Love!

[nathalie carles]

I missed that one Sheryl!

Again I have to read and read as I don't understand everything....

Does this simply means that we have to get out of our comfort zone (surrounded by routine... habits?) to get some results or have I not understood?

Thank you agan for your interesting posts.

[Sheryl Valentine]

Thank YOU Robin :)

[Robin Grace Geck]

Sheryl, I am new to this site and in exploring opened to your blog. What beautiful reflections, ones to carry in our hearts, thank you!

[Sheryl Valentine]

Thank You Penni ~ I Love you and all that you do.

[Penni]

This is beautiful - thank you so much for all you are and your wonderful, inspiring sharing, dear Sheryl! xoxo