Raw Food Rehab

No rigid rules, labels or dogmas.... just REAL food, for your body, mind & soul!

Just had a bowl of chopped apple, banana and blueberries for breakfast, sprinkled with cinnamon, a few walnuts and served with cold home-made almond milk. Yum. 

For lunch, I'll take a couple of small flasks of my standby smoothie (juiced pineapple, lime, greens, blended with avo) as I'm going to be out all day and running around.

Dinner tonight will be that lovely-looking Eastern Dragon Salad recipe that Penni posted.

I'm back on raw after a week of bad stuff. Why do I sabotage myself when I'm doing well? Had a wonderful week juicing, then followed that up with stuffing junk down myself. All started when I met up with some friends for a couple of hours one lunchtime last week and hadn't pre-planned. One glass of wine, and everything went down hill from there...Then I get depressed, tired, lethargic, and it all spirals out of control as I eat bad things to cheer myself up/give myself some energy. WHY? When I know how great I feel, how much energy and clarity and cheerfulness I have when I'm raw? I suppose it's a case of breaking old habits, and I need to be patient with myself.

Talking of patience, I'm learning a lot about that now; I feel it's one of the lessons that the universe is sending me. My Dad is home from the hospital now, but has sunk into a state of dependence and depression. He's refusing to do any of the things he happily used to do just three weeks ago, like listening to classical music, or phoning his sisters in the evening. He used to love chatting to them for hours, now he says he can't be bothered. He won't eat properly, refusing healthy(ish) foods that he used to eat, like scrambled eggs, chicken soup, or Shepherds Pie, and is just living on sweet stuff. (Which I can understand as a go-to means of obtaining short-term relief from lowness - witness my eating habits last week!), but of course this has a knock on effect of making him even more tired and depressed. Also, he's diabetic. This culminated in a phone call to me at 3am on Monday morning from the paramedics, who had been called out to him by the Scheme Manager where he lives, after he pulled the emergency bell because he felt hot and couldn't breathe. Turned out to have a blood sugar of 1.6 (should be between 4 and 7). Apparently he'd thrown away the dinner I'd left him, and eaten a cream doughnut for his supper instead! (He sends his carers - he has carers four times a day -  out for sugary treats, and has a fridge full - I mean literally FULL of sweet things. His doctor, who is a lovely kind chap, advised me not to worry, as at his age he needs something to enjoy. Still...). I have to take some very deep breaths sometimes, when dealing with him, as I'm not a naturally patient person. Learning though!

I'm spending hours with him each day when I'm not working, and when I get home, he phones me some 2 or 3 times. It's quite hard, as he's very pathetic and upset when he phones, and it's always something minor, like the batteries have gone in his clock and he wants me to go back down and fix it (I tell him his evening carer will be in in an hour or so, and will do it/whatever else is the problem,  for him then, but then starts heaving deep sighs and saying that he just wants to die, or starts crying. It's terribly distressing). I must confess, my heart sinks every time the phone rings, and then I feel mean. His carers are lovely, kind older women who've helped their own elderly folk, and treat him with respect and kindness, so it's not as if he's being mistreated by anyone. I think he's just trying to find ways to keep me with him all the time. I guess he gets lonely, and is maybe afraid of dying on his own? I can't have him to live with me as he doesn't like my big, cold, old house - it has lots of narrow stairs which he can't manage, and the rooms are high ceiling-ed, chilly even with the central heating full blast and a fire in the grate, and a bit prone to damp. We're used to it, but my Dad hates coming here. And the truth is, I don't know if I could cope with him 24/7  which makes me feel very guilty and selfish.His little flat is toasty warm, no stairs, call bells, his own bathroom and kitchen and bedroom, with electric bed and electric reclining chair...but still lonely...

 I've been wracking my brains for ways to help him, and if anyone can think of anything that might help, please, please tell me!

I did wonder about going to see the minister of the Methodist church that my Dad used to attend many, many years ago. He (my dad, not the minister!) claims to believe in God, although he doesn't pray, or appear to even think about religion at all (I think it's more a case of conditioning from his childhood. His parents were deeply religious. He's always been a very placid, easy-going, compliant sort of person, and if told to do something, has, in the past anyway, done it without question - probably a result of being beaten at school for not jumping to obey orders! the stories he tells!!!). If I ask my Dad if he wants the minister to visit him, I know he'll say no, as he's in this negative state of mind, but if I just quietly ask the minister to pop round one day and have a chat, I wonder if that might offer some kind of relief to my father. As he's so near the end of life (97), maybe some kind of spiritual guidance might bring him relief from depression and offer comfort. It's not very ethical going behind someone's back, but in this case, can it do harm?

My poor sister has been signed off work for a month with stress, so I don't like to bother her with any of this, so thank you all for listening! As always, I find this site such a support - both with my attempts to follow a raw food lifestyle, and with personal things. Off-loading eases the pressure a bit!

Bless you all!

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Comment by Janet Carol Ryan on April 24, 2013 at 8:30pm

Kate, your Dad is so very, very blessed to have you in his life. And YOU deserve a life as well. I trust that you'll find a way to keep a balance so as not to exhaust yourself. It sounds like his living situation and caregiving is ideal and you are coming up with some wonderful ideas for getting him additional support - I like the idea of having a visit from the minister (just my opinion) so he has someone else to talk with and an opening if indeed he is willing to talk about his beliefs and/or his fears.  Mostly I am wishing you well.

Comment by Islegirl on April 24, 2013 at 1:46pm

Kate I just wanted to let you know that I found that tip on Brandi Rollins' site by putting "how to store your greens" in the search bar at the top of her page.  She included it in her tips.  I'll read your blog later.  Just can't at the moment.

Comment by Kate Frances on April 24, 2013 at 1:35pm

Jo, what a wonderful idea - he loves animals, but has been reluctant to get one in case he tripped over it. Now, he hardly moves, except when he shuffles with his zimmer frame, so I'm sure it would be safe. I  could 'borrow' an elderly, placid cat from a shelter to see how he got on. Thank you! I'm sure this would cure his depression!

Maureen, funnily enough, I've just been looking into Tapping this very morning. It sounds intriguing.  Don't think my Dad would have anything to do with it (he's not very open to new ideas), but for my sister and myself, it could be an excellent tool to deal with stress. Thank you!

Comment by Jo on April 24, 2013 at 12:23pm

Sending you Love, just do your best while taking time for yourself. 

I am wondering if he would be allowed to get a cat?  not a kitten but a cat, if there are caregivers checking in on him, maybe they would be okay making sure there was food and water for the cat... change the litter.  I know that my grandpa really appreciated the company of his cat, made him happy and gave him some company.  Just an idea.

Comment by Maureen Griffin on April 24, 2013 at 7:06am

Kate , I hear you loud and clear -it's so hard because you want to do the best for him and it's hard to know what that is sometimes. We lost my Mum in law last year at 100 and there are some similarities with what you are saying. The strongest thing I learned is that regardless of their physical state which may be difficult to improve, it's the emotional pain that deserves attention in whatever way you believe could help. What have any of you got to lose to try and lessen this kind of distress? Importantly keep hope alive in you all for the best outcomes and don't focus on the end time although it may be close at hand. But then again it may not.

A hospice nurse that came to visit us used Tapping to alleviate anxiety with people who were struggling  - it is kind and my personal experience of it is that it helps reduce tension. It may help you personally too, to deal with these stressful times. Nick Ortner has a site and it is getting more exposure now with PTSD application. Your Dad is probably most comfortable with the known, like your minister but when all else fails, there is literally nothing to lose. All the best Kate to you, your Dad and the family.

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