Real Food Rehab

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DIVORCING THIS WAY OF LIFE......ENOUGH ALREADY....181 pounds!!

I was appalled this morning as I stepped on the scales to see I am almost at my highest weight again since being 189 pounds several years ago...Fall of 2006. At that point in my life I had come to realization that nothing in my life was going to change unless I changed, including my marriage.  I had been married for 14 yrs and was so miserable with my life. My son was about 7 yrs old and I refused to let him learn the ways of his father. God had put me in places that year that I needed to be to be able to see what I needed to do and what I could do! So onward I went into the great unknown....filed for divorce, started exercising, changing what and how much I ate, started feeling like a new person all over, mentally and physically.  (At this time, I was not eating mostly raw, just healthier cooked foods.)

So fast forward 7 months.....I had gotten my weight down to 149 pounds, felt great, loved running and exercising...... and best of all, my husband and I worked things out and got back together before the divorce was final. To this day, I am happy with my life with my husband and he is the man I always thought I married.  He's a great father and husband. And most the time I think he knows me better than I know myself.

So where does that leave me I wonder....but to realize that I AM MY OWN PROBLEM AND WORST ENEMY!!  That's my only explanation. Its been a struggle since over the past 2 years of eating more RAW, my husband and now 13 yrs old son do not want to eat like I do, and better yet they make smart comments about what I eat and when I eat.  (I just read that Penni Shelton dealt w/ the same types of issues w/ her family....makes me feel a little more normal. haha) It's still hard to take and mentally deal with sometimes.

The only thing short of divorcing my husband again to lose this 40 pounds, which I kinda like him now and really want to keep him around, is to DIVORCE THIS WAY OF LIFE! I have to divorce the negative thoughts that I let in my head everyday without even my knowledge of them....its that automatic!  I have to divorce the idea that I'm not worthy, that this is the life I'm supposed to live, that I don't deserve to be healthy and skinny!

So, I will make preparations today to start on 100% raw 10 day cleanse tomorrow! I can do this, I am woman and I am strong! And I am so worth it all!! I can be what I've always wanted to be....strong, healthy, skinny, and beautiful! I will change those pictures in my head that I spoke of a few days ago....I will smile when I see those pictures and be happy with MYSELF!!! and probably most of all....LOVE MYSELF!!!

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Comment by Jodi is Purely Nourished on November 1, 2012 at 5:39pm

Hang in there. Bottom line it -is about you and how you take care of yourself. If you  take care of yourself you will have more to offer others. Keep eating for you. Make the extra food to ADD to your meals for them. Make a big salad a part of your evening meal and then add the other foods for the, My mother always sat us with a salad first. We ate it without a question as we waited for dinner. I have found that by making great raw things and serving more REAL food not necessarily calling it raw, my partner has left behind his meat eating ways on his own. He says he just feels better eating this food now. He prefers the raw things and asks for more of that now but in the beginning he would cry and moan about my "experiments" and there were some bad ones as well as the good.

Hang in there like I said. a lot of the trouble in relationships has to do with how we respect ourselves and take care of ourselves. When we are calm and centered it has a way of changing the dynamics of everything. Dr. Phil has a saying I like ...that "we teach people how to treat us" and I think it starts with how we treat ourselves.

Best wishes to you!

Comment by Glorianne Garza on October 29, 2012 at 11:32pm

Your post touches close to home for many. I am raw, about 2 years, and my husband is not. We had growing pains at first...BIG time, but now it is wonderful. Not perfect, but we can live very cooperatively.  He has made HUGE changes too, and eats vegan many days, but does what he wants. For the most part he eats really healthy but not always. I made the pad thai yesterday and he loved it, along with spring rolls, loved them too. He loves MOST things, at first he didn't like the "names" given them, like it's NOT cheez...He said it's nuts! Anyway, time and looking at myself and not him, has helped tremendously. We truly can live in harmony. He is the best gardener and grows most of our greens and tons of stuff. He drinks a morning smoothie with me and always says its good and thanks me. He also lost a ton of weight, I've never known him this small. His doctor is thrilled. It really was all him, making his own choices and me trying hard not to WATCH him. He said he couldn't let me change and not have tried for himself. As for me, 40 lbs. dropped off me effortlessly and I went from a size 14 to a 6-8. Just by loving healthy food and choosing a new path. You CAN DO IT if you truly want it. It's really not that hard. It's exciting! I wish you the best, and you know where to find the support you need. Right here!

Comment by Jean on October 26, 2012 at 6:57pm

Whenever I make something I offer them a bite. If they want more I give it to them. I will make zucchini past and they like it with raw sauce but I also make them the meat choice they want with it. If I make mango ice cream they beg for it LOL. They also love the banana strawberry ice cream.  Raw soups work but they like theirs warmed ( I can deal with that) Sometimes you just have to give them a little of this and that and let them choose.

My son begs for seaweed in his lunch. Cut up apples with cinnamon raw ice creams and smoothies. Hubby eat what ever I hand him BUT he also wants SAD food too.

Comment by Joe the raw christian on October 26, 2012 at 4:28pm

Hi Stephanie,

The same God who put you in those places in 2006 will show you how to make it work even though your family doesn't eat raw. However, I would not tolerate the snippy remarks any longer. Just be sure that you don't snip at them for what they eat.

When I stopped snipping at my wife & son... they started being interested in smoothies. Victoria Boutenko's 12 steps to raw has a chapter called 'I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU EAT'. Having a peaceful house is more important than anything else. That's why Proverbs says 'better a dry crust of bread WITH peace than a house full of feasting with strife'

Be Blessed..... & congrats to you & hubby for sticking it out!!

Comment by Lisa Phillips on October 25, 2012 at 10:12pm

Oh goodness, do I hear you on so much of this. <3 My heart goes out to you and I pray that we can divorce negativity and our old mentality. It's time for us to shine! Go, YOU! <3 ~XoX~

Comment by Laura Harshbarger on October 24, 2012 at 6:49am

It's all about the love Stephanie.  Good luck to you, I know you can do it!

Comment by Maureen Griffin on October 23, 2012 at 6:44pm

This is a great space for me too Stephanie for all sorts of reasons. Glad you reached out here and that you are feeling more confident in your direction. It's a journey.......     :)

Comment by Stephanie Baker on October 23, 2012 at 8:25am

Thank you everyone for your loving support and amazing comments. Maureen.....great thought about "if it were medically needed for allergies, etc....it would be acceptable"......I never thought of it like that. Perfect!! I will be talking to my guys today, cause I love them and I know they love me, so I think if I approach it from a loving standpoint from your other comment, "so everyone can proceed w/ a diet and lifestyle that enhances each persons well-being".....AMEN!! I know what I like is not what they like nor how they want to live, but I love this life when I can get some support.  A couple years ago when I really got into raw I had a weekly support group and luncheon, and of course, that was ENOUGH to keep me going thru the week....but I don't have that group anymore, only the monthly potluck so its left to me and the 'not-so' supportive family!! This is going to change!! Thank you all again for your LOVE.....you have totally made my week and now I understand what this group can really do....you can now be my support and encouragement!!

Comment by Maureen Griffin on October 23, 2012 at 3:37am

Interesting Debra -every decision you make impacts on others -they see, they understand at whatever level  that there ARE other valid choices that are healthful.

 

Comment by Debra Garner on October 22, 2012 at 8:07pm

The video was great. I recently went to my highschool reunion. It was held at a restaurant on the golf course in town. I contacted them ahead of time. They were having a buffet for everyone else but for myself and another friend who is a vegan we got HUGE salads. So big that I could only eat 1/4 of it! It also came with a plate of fruit.. It was amazing.. So it doesn't hurt to ask..

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