Day 4 of 100% raw--yep I actually am doing it! And thoughts

[L.]

(oh, actually, I guess it isn't 100% raw--more like 100% fruits and vegetables--most of which, are raw.  that's good enough for me to consider it as 100%, as I don't really care if I heat up frozen peas in the microwave to put in a dip I make.  they're still anti-inflammatory, i'm still eating a diet consisting of solely fruits and vegetables (and garden of life raw protein powder, sparingly, when I think I need it) and that's the goal of all of this.  it is far, far better, than I've ever been able to do, and I'm very proud of myself.)

 

I haven't made one mistake, which is pretty exciting.  Haven't even eaten any nuts or seeds, which I usually stay away from, even on a cooked diet, as they both seem to make me feel worse than cooked food.  I'd rather eat a bowl of rice than a raw dessert made with nuts (well--I'd definitely prefer the raw dessert, but I'd be a lot more leery of it because I know how I feel afterward).  Since I got the vitamix there's so many exciting things to make I haven't really even tilted the wagon let alone fell off--it's actually been--lo and behold, easy.  I'm sure there are a lot of other factors  that go into that too, my current mindset, my boyfriend's encouragement (and sort of his peer pressure too!  ex: Me: "I'm so excited, I can't believe I'm actually doing this!  I haven't even been tempted by anything really!"  Him:  "Well, you better be eating that way, we can't waste all this produce!!" *annoyed look on his face*)...etc.

I'm also losing weight, I lost the majority of the weight that I was having trouble getting off in past times I've written.  I'm actually at the point now where I am a little bit worried at how I'm going to keep it on, which is really odd, honestly, as I'm used to always trying to get off that last 3-5 pounds, if not the last 10 (not a big deal, I know...yet for a 5 year period of my life, it was a huge component, as silly as that is).  I've got tons of beautiful gorgeous avocados that I got for really cheap at costco, so that is one step.  I wouldn't mind being very thin, but I kind of like my curves.  Thanks to my mother's genetics, I've become even curvier in the last year or so.  I like walking in a room and being like, "BAM, I'm a vegan, been one almost 3 years, yeah that is right ME--not fitting the stereotype AY??"  But--whatever will help my arthritis more though is what I'm going to do.  Seeing myself type this, it's amazing how far I've come since I had eating disorders.  I have definitely grown up a lot since then and--I actually love myself!  I am extremely passionate about who I am, what I believe, and I am at this breaking point now where I am like, wow--I don't really need anyone's encouragement like I used to.  I'm so full-on with my thoughts and beliefs and decisions that I have pretty much lost 90% of the care that I had before about things like that.  And it's funny because I know that a lot of adults who are much older than me aren't even in a place like that, including my own dang parents (bless their hearts)!  Sometimes I wonder if it's a bad thing--do I need to restrain myself more for the benefit of others--but that seems to betray a big part of my belief system and personality, and seems to go against what just feels right, so I don't.  Unless of course I'm tempted into saying something really rude and hurtful, which honestly, sometimes I am, even though I don't realize it right away!  I'm trying to be more sensitive to things like that, and I think I'm doing a good job.

In the  same token I do think my self-assuredness really annoys my boyfriend.  He would have loved the me of 3-4 years ago.  But that girl is gone, and I'm happy she is, and if he wants someone like that girl he will have to find someone else.  I don't mind being alone, and kind of think of it as a luxury.  Maybe it was all the little houses I grew up in, even though I only have one sibling, so they weren't terribly small for us.  Having one teeny bathroom probably contributed :)  Maybe that's what every family needs to do to raise independent children: share one bathroom.  They'll all be fighting to get away!!  Lol :P  Although, like everyone else, I do like to have company every once in a while, and it seems to help keep my spirits up.  But I don't like them around nearly as often as most people I know.  In fact, I'm wondering if it's a bad thing--I've been finding myself purposefully dodging people who seem like they want to befriend me at school.  Part of it is because I'm worried they'll get chatty while the teacher is talking and I really need to focus on my grades.  But the other part seems to be because I think of them more as a burden than I do as something that's enjoyable to have, which I think is a little strange, as I know most people aren't like that.  I don't really trust most people and when I do trust them, often I feel like, I don't know, maybe I am bored by them, or I'd rather go off and be doing something else more interesting by myself?  Maybe it's just I'm not finding people who excite me enough to want to befriend them--honestly I do think that is it.  And when they are exciting, often they're stupid and impulsive and pretty careless about the things that I care about.  I do think it has something more to do with that.

 

Lala...okay that's enough writing for now.  The only other thing I have to say is a question--does anyone know any great smoothie recipes that stay yummy overnight?  Because I'm finding that when I make a fresh smoothie with my vitamix, it will taste wonderful straight out of the blender, but then left overnight--I don't know what happens but things melt and get thicker and tastes age and--just plain ghastly.  I made an orange banana berry smoothie the other day and it was wonderful out of the blender, and when I tasted it the next day--undrinkable.  I live in a duplex so I can't run the vitamix in the morning otherwise we might bother the neighbor--and this is the second or third time I've made a smoothie I loved the night before only to taste it the next morning and hate it so much that I pretty much don't get to eat until I come home at 5pm (not good!!  not good at all and that can't become habitual or this dietary lifestyle is not going to work for me).

 

Take care,

Lyza

[Laura Harshbarger]

Hi Lyza, I just wanted to say I love your posts.  You are so honest and creative.  You should start a blog!  Anyway, I have never made it the night before but check out Kimberly Snyder's recipe for the glowing green smoothie.  Put half a lemon in it and it should help it stay fresh.   Good luck!