Dating Woes....

[Shekinah Love]

When browsing online dating profiles on okcupid and other sites, I think of how hard it is to really find a match in this world.....most people are looking for someone thats attractice and stable etc....and it tends to be fairly basic...but Im looking for much more, but Im a pretty diverse person. Im not a drinker and dont go to bars to *hang out* but I like to go dancing (and there arent many non-bar options for that on a regular basis) and I enjoy going to and performing in drag/performance art shows that are also in bars. I really resonate with people that arent into bars, but I still spend SOME time in them. Im also heavily involved with gay/queer/trans community....and alot of the ppl I resonate with have been burned by the community and so they try to disavow it..because of all the drama (like gay male vanity and superficiality/drunks/drugs etc..) but I love my community, even though I dislike those things and I dont associate being queer with all those things on the whole. Im also vegan, but Im now back into mostly (if not all ) raw foods...and theres a VERY small minority of queer (male) folks in that community...and all the ones Ive met are very taken already, or in polyamorous relationships with a primary partner or several partners, and that wouldnt quite work for me either, altho a regular totally monogamous relationship may not work either, as I may want to explore different things/kinks that my partner may not be interested in. Cant I just have my low fat raw vegan cake and eat it too??? lol

[bitt]

you just have to find someone to convert. ;-)

there was a good article about this on crazy sexy life at one point. check their blog.

[Ayn]

HA! You know, I have found that outside of my friends that I grew up with, the people that I have met that I like most, I have met in places where I feel comfortable. For me, that would be an art gallery/ independent galleries. I guess I have met some people at bars that I like, but over all, not so much, We have raw food potlucks here, lots of interesting people. I am actually finding that my friends that I have in the G/L community, are very open minded in the raw food deperatment, and MANY are already headed there, they just dont really know it yet. (daily juicing, adding more greens, eliminating toxins, etc) so hold your head up!

[L.]

Wow that sounds tough!! >.<  You are looking for so much in someone...and I think you may have to remember that no matter who you are or how different you may feel or how great someone is, you still will end up having to make compromises...I'm no relationship expert, but to me it sounds like you may be picky and if you make small things a big deal, you may never find a relationship, and if you do, it may not be very enjoyable. :)  I didn't even like my boyfriend at first, LOL, when I first started dating him...in fact I wrote about him on here in my journal as this nerdy guy who wouldn't stop texting me...and now it's 3 months later and he's one of my favorite people. :P  And also, he's an omnivore...it bothers me a little, but you know what, above everything we are happy and having so much fun together, and it's kind of fun to share with someone different than me about what I like and learn from his perspective, rather than preach to the choir.  It's refreshing!!!

My ex boyfriend was a transexual person, so I do relate to your entry in some respect (of course not all of it).  Now, he decided to be a girl again (their original sex), and is getting married to a guy, a completely heterosexual relationship.  That's very confusing to me, as I remember many late night phone calls/talks, talking about how different he felt, trying to make him feel more comfortable with himself, and his consideration over the sex-change operation. Then to poof change back to his her original sex...okay...your life.  Anyway!! :)  I hope it all works out for you!!!!!