Broken record sounds

[Annabelle]

Everyday questions.

Who am I, what am I doing here, why do I have to behave this way, why is life so hard,  how do I survive this, how do I change, how do I make a difference, why does it take so long, why do I feel this way...

 

Endless questions, endless answers

There are no answers, there are no truths

 

There is a time in life when we feel incomplete, when we wonder and try to find the reasons of why we are at a certain place, behaving in a certain pattern and I ask where did it all come from?

Some say it's your parents fault, it's society's fault, its others fault, it's my fault, but there are no faults, there are responsibilities and choices.

 

Who determines these responsibilities and why do we have to fit in that box, "steps" to follow, affirmations to memorize, rules to stick to,  

Where is the place for freedom.

 

We want and want and want and it is never enough we will never have it all, we will never do it all, or will we?

What about limitless, infinite possibilities, what about faith.

 

Negativity, ups and downs, how do we help ourselves, one way or another we end up following someone else's words, where are our own, who's dreams are you after?

 

We need 'papers' to prove our worthiness.

All I hear are complaints, it is never good enough, it is never up to part.  

We are given the solutions and we choose not to move.

We are on the verge and we want to jump but we won't, because the pain is safer than uncertainty.

Because constant fights are more comfortable.

Because conflict is more interesting.

Because the untold real story is so unique we are afraid to speak of it, we are afraid to live it, we are afraid to build it, we are afraid to fail.

 What is failure anyway, no more than a opportunity taken, the chance given, just another line crossed on the to do list.

 

I speak and the voice I hear is not mine, I feel and the emotions are not mine, I think and the thoughts are not mine.

Are we programmed? For good and bad.

Where is good, where is bad.

 

Contrast is the baseline of comparison.

 

Cheers darlin', for the ribbons of happiness we are after.

For the utopic ideas, for creating moments, for cherishing your past and dreaming of the future.

 

Structure I do not fit in that leads to self-destructive rebellion.

 

These are my words, these are my feelings, these are my views, my answers are not formatted out there, mine are where I choose to see them, mine are where I want to hear them, mine are when I decide to live them.

Only then will I be (?)

        - I am now -

Can you hear me now?

 

Time, counting time, collecting information, adding materials, pilling up of things because more is better right? Or less is the way? Simple?

 

     - Confusion  -

 

After all, what I want is peace and love

 

       -  Lie -

 

I want it all.  

 

The drive to thrive.

The success.

The health.

The love.

The endless list.

 

Moving on.

 

The connection with the forest.

 

When I see the anger and frustration in the world I feel it in me, and it's worrying.

What we are capable of. To destroy and help.

 

Duality.

Again, words that are not mine but I adopted.

 

Lyrics that make me cry, music and vibration that makes me feel, break down to the most essential part of my being and then, I breathe.

 

All the weight has been lifted.

 

Contradictions but I keep learning, discovering.

 

All I need is to look into your eyes. Memories.

 

Discipline, practice and self-control.

Organized caos, that is what we are.

 

Nothing is perfect, nothing will ever be, I know but I believe in the massive potential to improve.

 

Nothing belongs to me.

 

Convince, conviction.

 

Do you................... ?

 

Stolen identity, wishful thinking. Trust and plans.    

 

Everything ends up being a sweet obsession that makes your heart race, because of the cherished images in our mind.