Adding LIFE to your years and years to your life!
I got acupuncture done today for my depression. I know aspiring to be "raw" or what not should by stereotype make me against pharmaceutical medicine, but I've been wanting antidepressants for quite some time now. I guess this was never meant to be the case, as my parents are strictly against it and have been taking every holistic approach to help "fix" me possible. I've tried Pranic Healing, and though I think it could have worked, but my healer is someone who travels the world and never has time for me-she is also my life coach. She's a great woman and I love her to death... she's just to busy.
What was strange today though was the acupuncturist's ability to completely assess me so accurately. He even said that my "Qi" energy was blocked in my liver and kidney. Which means that I struggle with anger and fear. My pranic healer was able to detect the same thing a year ago. So I have faith that both of these people know what they're talking about.
I'm trying to give this an open approach. I want to heal. I went from feeling so much pain prior to the meeting today to feeling practically nothing afterwards. A friend of mine from high school died yesterday. I wasn't close with him but he was still a friend, and still only 20 years old... it wasn't his time to die. So naturally, I was distraught. And although I'm still sad, it's not consuming me as much now.
It's just weird to me that I've developed this ginormous appetite as the day has progressed. Full doesn't feel good enough. I'm eating excessively.
I'm trying to not put too much thoughts into my emotions because I read that's what makes our "Qi" stagnant. I could have very well been bored today which is what led me to overindulge. I had nothing planned for my day other than my appointment, and its a foggy, gloomy day. People always eat on days like this. Especially when facing the loss of a loved one.
I know none of this should be attributed to my depression. I'm just scared of holistic medicine not being powerful enough to cure me. I've even had bioenergetic assessments done and taken natural supplements. No real long lasting results.
What also upsets me is that my acupuncturist is going away to China for the next 2 months. Because of that, my mom made another appointment for this Friday. I just hate how all of my healers travel the freaking world and aren't people I can rely on actually being there for me. I read that someone had to have 12 sessions done to cure their depression. So this is really going to elongate the process.
Anyways, spiritually, it was definitely an experience today. During the acupuncture I found a lot of suppressed memories rise to the surface. I felt little surges of anxiety too at times. And anxiety is actually something he said is felt with my energy being blocked in either the liver or kidney Qi... can't remember which.
I just can't figure out how anger is an issue with me. I do have a short fuse but I don't feel like I'm angry. Maybe frustrated.
Definitely frustrated. My past definitely frustrates me.
Bleh, okay. Bye.