Adding LIFE to your years and years to your life!

Why are my past mistakes and wonderland of regrets still bothering me?

Hello, friends! I'm blessed by the best! How are you doing? As my Ivy Tech Community College Graduation nears, my past mistakes and bad memories are forcing me to look back and see all the things that I wish that I can take back. That includes all my mistakes, a wonderland of regrets. I feel ugly, useless, and worthless. I have been hollered at all my life, and I regret all of the things that I've done! I'm not even proud of any of them! I'm probably not happy with who I am because of my past! I may have been on the honor roll with perfect attendance for 8 plus years and I may have gottem myself on the Fall 2011 dean's list, however, because of all my mistakes (past, present, and future), I'm definately ugly and useless, and even worthless. Everytime I mess up, I beat myself up over each and every mistake that I make! I get harder on myself every year! I may be in top shape; unfortunately, I feel fat because of all my mistakes from the past, present, and future! I'm so happy to be here at the raw food rehab. I love it here, and I never want to leave! I love each and every one of you!

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Comment by nathalie carles on May 5, 2012 at 1:38am: No no no you have a choice, that's the big problem. Example: You have a choice to stop saying that you are useless and worthless or to keep talking like that. You have control on certain things in life and your language, your way of talking is one of them. Also stop saying you're weak. Unless you like it.

Change the way you talk about ouy. Would you say to your best friend everyday that she's useless???? You wouldn't dare. So...do it for you too. After all, you are the only close friend that you will ever have (like everybody else)...Nobody on this planet has just a bad side, it doesn't exist. We all have a good and a bad one.

Why dont you write down what you're good at?

Just for a change?

That is the next post for you.

Take your time and write nice things about you and post them, ok?

Comment by Vanessa Machelle Helm on May 4, 2012 at 12:41pm: The reason why I let the past bother me is because I'm weak. I'm just useless and worthless like I said! I have no choice because the past is still bothering me! Thank you for the advice, guys. Unfortunately, it will take time because it doesn't happen overnight!

Comment by Wendy Geesey on May 3, 2012 at 2:31pm: Vanessa, I can so identify with you! I married a man who grew up hearing all his life that kids were no damn good- who the hell wants kids?!!! His mother's favorite nickname before he turned 18 was "jerk". He was also physically abused by both parents... how in the world is anyone supposed to feel loved, wanted or valued with that being pounded into your soul on a daily basis?!!! The answer is LOVE! You must experience true unconditional love- even if it has to start with yourself. Have you ever heard of EFT or tapping? (Emotional Freedom Technique) I invite you to take a look at www.thetappingsolutiondotcom (as we aren't allowed to post links). There is tons there... the next Tapping World Summit starts on May 10th- sign up- it's FREE!!! It has really helped me... and I see a huge change in my husband too :) I really hope this helps you!

Comment by Jodi is Purely Nourished on May 3, 2012 at 3:28am: The past does not exist anymore so let it go. Why keep it alive and torment yourself with it? It serves no purpose and does nothing but damage your present and future. As Iyanla Vanzant says, "If you do not heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed all over your future." When you know better, you do better. Find comfort in that you now know better and let yourself off the hook.

You are on the brink of a whole new beginning. ENJOY IT!!

Comment by nathalie carles on May 2, 2012 at 10:18am: At least you are trying, that's a good beginning and may be your way of "trying" needs improvement like just one thing at a time. May be you want to change everything at the same time which is the hard way to start?

First: stop saying you're ugly and useless.

Second: stop looking at your past mistakes and use this energy for doing something positive NOW.

Third: focus on your graduation, very important stage of your life

and so on....

You'll get to where you want to go if you are clear about that.

Good luck for everything!!!

Comment by Vanessa Machelle Helm on May 2, 2012 at 7:43am: Thak you so much for all your encouragement and support. Everytime I try, I always fail! You are all my family! I love you all!

Comment by djd on May 1, 2012 at 3:03pm: We have all made mistakes but we can do better today and tomorrow. A big hug for you.

Comment by nathalie carles on April 30, 2012 at 11:06pm: If I may say: being mad at your past mistakes is totally useless. The past is gone and you'll never be able to change anything you've done...on the other hand you can change your today attitude (and do that quickly!) and have a total different approach of the present which means of the future and be happy with yourself that will lead to no more mistakes. Life sometimes can be much more easier that you think it is and in your case, it could be much easier if you let go of your past.

Forget about the past, focus on today, on your actions of today, tonight and tomorrow morning, that what your future is made out of. Everytime you mess up...just get an idea of why you did it and get a plan to not do it again and then just keep going...but please don't waste your time beating yourself up....don't you have anything else to do that beat yourself up? It is a loss of energy!!!!

You say " I'm probably not happy because of my past"...that's exactly what I say :"Forget about the past, it is a waste of time (and energy)...focus on what you are doing now, you have control of this...but not on your past!

May be write a journal....put your so called mistakes and make a plan not to do it again.

Get your life back, enjoy, have fun, love yourself, you're unique and probably have a lot to be proud of but it is hidden in that obsession of the past!

Good luck beautiful!

Comment by Deborah Grissam on April 30, 2012 at 8:18pm: My daughter sounded a lot like you when I talked to her this afternoon. She was upset that she had made mistakes at her work and I told her

Condemnation kills!

So not condemn yourself! It will kill you little by little!

Comment by Kimanbry on April 30, 2012 at 7:54pm: I know there are alot of people who feel the way that you do, including myself at times. I have come to realize that although I am my toughest critic, I can also be my biggest cheerleader.

Try not to be so hard on yourself, sweet child! You have a graduation to be so proud of and the fact that you are on the Dean's list speaks volumes about your character.

light, love and a little luck coming your way ;)