Adding LIFE to your years and years to your life!
As I said in my last post....I am rock bottom. With my Fathers condition up and down, and up and down, it often feels like we are on an emotional roller coaster. I love my Father dearly, but with his lack of quality of life and the daily pain he feels, I wish he would be released to continue into the next life and be set free of his ailments. I also wish I could stop putting life on hold to take care of him and so I can move on with my life as well. It has been a HUGE challenge watching a parent die. However, that said, it also makes me realize the expediency and urgency I need to feel to get my own health on track and overcome my addictive patterns of overeating and abusing my body. I have zero desire to have my kids wipe my butt when I am merely 65 years old! LOL
I am now back to my all-time weight. How frustrating is that? It took less than a year to put back on every pound I sweated off over the years. To make matters worse, I now work full-time and my schedule is not allowing me to workout for great lengths of time like I need to for weight loss. My stress eating has been out of control and I seem to be more addicted to food than ever. The harder I try to stay away from food, the worse I become! I have researched for years health and diet and fitness, and lately have been drawn to the whole idea of raw foods. THIS approach MAKES SENSE! With all my training and education in the health field, as well as my own personal quest for knowledge, is all I can say, is this makes so much sense that I am amazed more people are not on board with it! I want more than ever to STOP my roller coaster of weight. I want so badly to be able to do what I most want to do in life; which is to inspire and educate others in their own battles with obesity. I cannot do it though UNTIL I get control! I have to show I have succeeded myself BEFORE I can help others do the same! I am determined to make this change. Probably more determined than ever! I feel as though I finally have some tools I have not had before now, and I KNOW it is a quest I can complete and succeed in!
Last week I managed to do 6 days of a 7 day juice fast. I was feeling pretty good and then my food started calling my name! I withstood it until my body was cleansing so heavily that I was literally ill and could not leave my house for fear of losing control of my bowels. I felt so weak that I fell prey to my cravings and gave in. I am not beating myself up for it though, rather, I am re-committing to do at least a 10 day juice fast this time. I know my body will love me for it and I really need to juice fast until the cravings dissipate, and my body is cleansed. I figure I will do a 10 day and go from there. So, here's to new beginnings and finding my way out of the deep, dark hole! It's a new day tomorrow and a new life is beckoning me! I will blog my progress, emotions, struggles and triumphs along the way. I know I will look back and say WOW!!! I have come far!!! But for now, I will look at it one day at a time!